You do not F with Chuck Norris. Unless, of course you are Robert Pattinson-New Moon actor Michael Welch starred with Norris on an episode of Texas Walker Ranger, so he's qualified to decide: Chuck Norris or Robert Pattison?

Who smells better? "Robert Pattinson...he smells like heaven."

Who'd win in a fight? "I have to go with Edward Cullen, although you know Walker was pretty invincible, but I don't think that Walker's fractured slow-mo could save him against Edward. In fact, in real life Rob's no slouch in the ring. He could take somebody, but Chuck, I don't quite think so."

Who has a better beard? "You gotta go Chuck Norris with the beard. Nothing beats that thing."

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//M